—New Updated Version of The Daily Puppy—
~-~Edition Twenty and Seven~-~
~-~Twenty-Second of August~-~
Welcome to the twenty-seventh edition of The Daily Puppy! We hope you enjoy it. Today, as the holidays draw to a close, we’re going to give you a heartwarming gift to send you on your way. It is…an engraved furlined bamboo-woven high-quality cashmere cat bed! Free delivery and free, this is a lovely way to let your cat relax whilst you chillax these final few days before the big day. Available in twenty different colours (furlining and cashmere can vary)
~-~Add Cockroaches to Your Pizza Free of Charge!~-~
Crazy indeed. A takeaway owner has been fined £2000 after customers discovered a cockroach in their ordered pizza.
After this was discovered, investigators also found cockroaches in the pots and pans, in the chiller unit and clambering along the walls. As well as this, all the cooking equipment and surfaces seemed to have never been washed in centuries, and the floor was filled with mouldy old kebab meat. The owner of the takeaway place in Leeds, Matloob Hussain, has shut down the business and in it’s place a new takeaway shop has been founded under a new owner.
The Magistrate, Bill Baker, concurs: “We’re due to have lunch in three-quarters of an hour but I think we’ll skip it.”
~-~Sorry if Our Cat Keeps Stealing Your Bras…~-~
Recently neighbours living close to the two year old tabby cat Norris have been rather disturbed by the lack of home-things, including missing bras.
The naughty Norris has pinched bras, jumpers, pizzas, gravy paste, dishclothes, a bathmat, oven gloves and even a German sausage left lying out! He has also been known to steal clothes and pegs from the washing line in the garden, claims Mr. Windsor, the tabbies owner. Mr. Windsor, of Bedminster, in Bristol says, “At first it was the odd thing, but over the last four months he has started to step up his game. Fortunately, all our neighbours are very good natured about it.”
The Factfiles are a new section to The Daily Puppy, telling you bitesize interesting, funny or ridiculous facts or opinions. Enjoy!
“An estimated 3 billion hours a week are spent playing online games“ -Institute for the Future
“Can everyone please stop using the word ‘like’ every other word. I counted more than 50 during one conversation today on a fifeteen minute journey to London. We are not American” -Jon
“The survey that found iPhone users were more vain than other smartphone users proves what a load of pretentious ‘saddos’ you lot really are.” -Ed
~-~Pet of the Day~-~
Name – Pixel
Age – Six months
Lives With – Daytona Mills, Glasgow
Likes – Playing with dogs and eating anything she can get her paws on
On selected clothing, home and beauty
~-~Learn to Speak Cat~-~
There’s a blond hair in this fur ball!
~-~Food is Around, Food is in Town~-~
Like your Chinese food? The Crazy Bear is today’s highlight, with four star ratings and a deal for Dim Sum and Tea including a cocktail for two for the whole afternoon for only £39. Three shops, three chances, at Fitzrovia, Beaconsfield and Stadhampton.
Well that’s all for today. Make the most of what’s left of your holidays and good luck at your new schools folks!
From the Author,
Categories: All Posts, News in a Nutshell, Newspapers, Newspapers and Reviews
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